Heirlooms

After my daughter was born, I remember finally finding true value in the beautiful pieces of fine jewelry marketed for mothers. Necklaces with her name, beautiful birthstone rings, and more. All gorgeous and so meaningful!

I continued to hunt for the “perfect” piece to honor my daughter. I wanted a piece that signified her outer beauty and inner fire, not simply jewelry to wear that checks off some box. An heirloom I will wear and cherish daily, that she someday can hold onto and love for herself.

It is fun as a parent to think about those physical heirlooms to pass on. A handsome watch or cufflinks from dad, a custom necklace or ring from mother, but what other forms of heirlooms can we pass along to our sons and daughters? What mentality, attitudes, and traits are we working to pass on through our own examples?

These are some of the building blocks of character that I deeply value and try to instill in my children. I am not saying these are the end-all or that any of us are perfect at exemplifying them, but a few that come to mind and what I personally find significant.

Kindness.

One thing, even as a young toddler, we encourage is “kind words” or “kind actions.” Teaching empathy, kindness, and love can be difficult; but it is a valuable fruit of the Spirit God wants to see evident in our lives (Galatians 5:22). Being an example of those traits is the best way to show our children not only how to implement those characteristics in our daily lives, but it emphasizes their importance. The days we are touched-out and maybe our patience wears thin, we can then be an example of what it means to need grace and mercy.

Honesty.

Okay, this one can be tricky! I recognize the blunt-ness of my personality, at times. So, this has been as much of a learning curve for me as it has been my daughters. As they learn the value of telling the truth (no fibs!) and asking for help when they needs it, I have learned to balance being honest without coming across as rude or too forward (which, is the very opposite of helpful and kind).

I cherish honesty in my relationships. I am not a “yes” person, and I don’t surround myself with people who tell me what I want to hear. While I want my children to understand the importance of honesty in their character, I also want them to find the best balance of honesty and kindness. Saying the truth in love is so valuable.

Loyalty.

In today’s society, loyalty is something not often practiced. When I say “practicing” loyalty, I don’t just mean having a friend’s back (while that is still very important!). What about loyalty to local and small businesses? Being continuously supportive in the community?

Instilling in my children to see the value in being faithful in supporting the local community, wonderful friends, or a fantastic small business is something I recently realized I want to do. Working with small businesses has always been a passion of mine (being born and raised in a small town, I’ve witnessed the lives changed from supporting local businesses first-hand). From local cleaning companies, boutiques, florists, farms, restaurants, and more – there’s always someone whose livelihood can be improved by our simple act of being a faithful consumer.

Work ethic.

When I say “work ethic,” I don’t mean “work extra hard every single day until you die.” I think we get confused about what a strong work ethic is. There is dignity in being someone who gives 100% to the work you have committed to do. We all know someone who will take on 5 different projects and give each of them 50-80% of their best effort (yes, okay, this may be me sometimes – I’m still growing!).

But, what if we teach our children it is not the quantity of their work accomplished, but the quality. Let’s teach our children the value of when to say “yes,” and when to say “no.” So the tasks we do choose to tackle can receive 100% of our attention and efforts. There is a difference in giving your best to the few, rather than burning yourself out trying to accomplish the many.  

Service.

There is something life-giving when we pour of ourselves into others around us, as Christ poured Himself into us! Whether this be through tutoring children in a local after-school program, walking dogs or playing with animals at the shelter, or spending time working at the food bank. There is always so much to be done, and it all seems to actually get done when many hands come together to share the labor.

Teaching my children the value of loving their neighbor (Matthew 22:39) is vital to cultivating a character focused on service and kindness. The best gift we can often give to others is our time. The greatest requirement of all of this is our time and a good attitude! What can we practice today to help our children to think of serving others first?

Love the Lord.

Greatest of all of these is to teach my children to love and serve the Lord. And, that this isn’t just lip-service, but something done whole-heartedly and at all times (even behind closed doors). God promises us that the seeds we plant into our children will last:

“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6

There are days it may be difficult, days we are down or facing trials. Can I encourage you? Turn on the worship music and let your littles see you praise. Open your Bible and let them ask a hundred questions about what you’re reading or, better yet, read aloud to them. We may not feel like it, but oh what a testimony it will be for them as they grow older!

These heirlooms of heart are just a few that I find significant to cultivating children that are thoughtful, loving, and kind. What traits or mindsets do you want to work to nurture in your littles? What practical methods can you implement in your home to be a leading example of those traits?